Tuesday, May 13, 2008

>>>How to Spot a Katoey (Ladyboy)

Katoey in PattayaKatoeys, meaning ladyboys or transsexuals, are everywhere in Pattaya. Some go to great lengths, and pain, to transform themselves into beautiful girls. Those tall, muscular bargirls with the gruff voices are obviously men, but what about those who are not so obvious?

Let’s start at the bottom – the feet. No matter how pretty the face, or how perfect the body looks, if she/he’s got trotters like a Neanderthal give it a wide berth. Look at the way she/he walks.

Many katoeys overdo it on the sexy walk. Their steps are too much catwalk-style - sliding bums, wiggling hips and one foot in front of the other. Check the shoulders in relation to the hips. Most men have wider shoulders than their hips, whereas women are more in proportion.

It wasn’t too long ago that the best way to spot a ladyboy was to look for the Adam’s apple, but there’s now a surgical procedure to remove it. This is still a good giveaway with most - that’s if he keeps his chin up (which he won’t when he’s giving you that smouldering pick-me look).

If you’re already in your room, under the covers, and you put your hand down to her/his pussy and she/he stops you. This is not a good sign. Most transsexuals who have had the op have quite a complex about their new genitals and will think them less than perfect.

The last thing they want is somebody probing away down there. They’ll more than likely want to suck you, and then just slip it straight in.

Some men find out when it’s too late, after they’ve fallen in love, but once they’ve got their heads round it they’re fine. Some never discover the truth, and live happily ever after.

Pattaya Ladyboys

My TGF has a ladyboy friend in Pattaya whose had every operation conceivable and looks quite stunning. Her rich judge boyfriend from Brunei has bought her a car and a house, now the guy’s getting serious – he wants to have kids! Not sure that ones got “happy ever after” written all over it.

Thai men are generally not the hairiest race on the planet, neither are they the largest, so even if they don’t go through all the operations, it’s still not too difficult for them to disguise their true genders.

A lot of them sellotape their cocks under their scrotums so they can get away wearing tight miniskirts or Lycra trousers. They then tell farang they’re real dirty girls and only like it up the arse. If she/he looks good, and you’ve got no inkling whatsoever, tempting isn’t it?

Anyway, here’s me handing out all these tips. katoeys could be your sole reason for being in Pattaya. Apparently many of them make more cash than the average true lady bargirl, so somebody enjoys what they can offer. I guess it’s the old home park advantage – if they were once men they know exactly what turns us on.

Written by : Paul Robinson

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>>>A Guide for the Uninitiated Sex Tourist

Firstly, the sex-trade is entirely different in Thailand to elsewhere. Having a concubine, or second wife (mia noi), has been part of the Thai culture since forever. Accordingly, the Thais regard the sex-trade as an acceptable occupation and the ladies, themselves, refer to it merely as “working”.

Esarn (North-eastern Thailand), where most of the bar-girls hail from, is impoverished and the sex-trade is a major way for families to buy what westerners consider essentials like TVs, fridges, running water and decent housing. Thailand also has no welfare state, so for poor families to send their daughters and sons to Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket is often the only means of adequate survival. Hence the saying a Thai bar-girl is the tip of a pyramid, having a whole extended family to support.

Many sex-workers also have a drug habit or are just plain avaricious, so it’s not all altruism! Pleas for money for hospital or funeral expenses, or to buy new water-buffalos can be genuine, but all too often its BS! These are facts every sex-tourist needs to know as you’ll hear them constantly.

The sex-workers learn the tricks of the trade from their peers very quickly. It’s very easy to make the foreigner fall in love with them due to their beauty, slim figures and apparently winning ways. This is especially true with current relationship norms and the high incidence of divorce and loneliness in the west.

Thai women are raised to be subservient to and take extremely good care of their men-folk. Accordingly, they exploit this for all it’s worth, lavishing love and attention on their foreign lovers, who all too often are lonely, inadequate, or find relating to women back home impossible.

This is especially true of older men, who benefit from the oriental reverence for the elderly. But, all too often it’s false and mercenary and the girls are often driven by their avaricious families to find a rich foreigner to provide for the family pyramid.

The beguiling bar-girls and boys are adept at extracting funds and presents from jai dee (good-hearted) foreigners. Gold and mobile phones are favourites, being easily pawned after the foreign lover goes home and reclaimed prior to their return.

Often, the foreign lover is cajoled into sending monthly bank transfers of 30,000 Baht in the vain hope of keeping the Thai lover faithful and away from bar-work.

However, many Thai sex-workers have a whole string of contributing lovers, as well as having Thai partners, to boot! To pretend to have just come from the hinterland is another ruse. So, if the bar-girl speaks good English, wears fashionable clothes and drips gold, beware!

Another favourite ploy is to get the foreign lover to marry them, buy property and put it in the Thai’s name, due to the complexity of the legalities governing ownership. However, one can form a company, cheaply, and get around the ownership quandary this way.

Cynicism aside, you can meet genuine, good-natured Thais to relate to, just be aware of the pitfalls.

Written by : Paul Robinson

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>>>Do's and Don'ts of the Pattaya Sex Scene


1. DO take sufficient money. Although a paying sexual encounter, by western standards, is relatively cheap, you may become sex-crazed and go through all your money in record time; plus the fact, the ladies are ingenious when it comes to extracting your lucre. Pace yourself.

2. DO experiment. What’s on offer is Go-Go bars where the ladies are often semi-clad or even nude, so you see what you’re getting in advance; beer bars, where the idea is to get you to spend as much as possible on drinks before bar-fining and taking the lady back to your hotel; short-time bars, similar to beer bars, except with en-suite bedrooms; lady-houses, usually only for Thais; 500 Baht pick-ups in discos, and short-time encounters on Beach Road, but these ladies have a high turn over and are dangerous in terms of STDs.

3. DO expect to have to pay for bar-fines (the fee to take the lady out of the bar), lady drinks and the lady. Go-Go bars charge the most because the females are well-above average, so you can expect to pay bar fines of 500 Baht and between 1-3,000 Baht, depending on the lady. Beer bars are much cheaper, but the cheapest is bars with en-suite bedrooms where the average all-in price is 500 Baht, plus drinks. Try Soi 6.

4. DO use a condom, unless you both want to get blood-tests to eliminate AIDS, gonorrhoea, TB and hepatitis risks.

5. DO appreciate that the ladies usually have to support a family back home.

6. DO be generous, otherwise you’ll be cheated, gain a bad-reputation and be shunned by the ladies.

7. DO keep your wits about you, especially after dark.


1. DON’T confuse lust and love. The ladies are past-mistresses at beguiling you.

2. DON’T take too many ladies from the same bar. They can be very jealous and murderous. Bobbitting (having your genitals cut off) is no idle threat!

3. DON’T buy too many lady drinks. The bar-owner and ladies become too avaricious and it’s bad for the rest of us!

4. DON’T believe everything the ladies tell you, especially if they speak good English, wear fashionable clothes and lots of gold. They’ve been around forever!

5. DON’T promise to send your chosen lady 30,000 Baht a month to stay away from bar-work and remain faithful to you. They often have 2 or 3 star-struck foreign lovers on a string and Thai boyfriends as well!

6. DON’T go home, sell up and return to get married. Not unless you can support yourself. Jobs are difficult to come by.

7. DON’T put property or cars in your wife/girlfriend’s name, if you return to get married. Form a company and buy that way.

8. DON’T ejaculate more than once every 20 days if you’re over 60. The protein loss is too high. (bit unrealistic that one)

9. DON’T overuse Viagra/Cialis or combine it with excessive alcohol if you have high blood pressure or a weak heart.

10. DON’T wear gold or expensive watches. You’ll loose them!

Submitted by : Ted Coxon

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>>>A Marriage Trap

Life after retirement in Germany was quite pleasant. No work to do, stay home relax or go out play some golf with friends. Until I wanted something else after I was told by a senior friend that Thailand is the perfect place to reside in after retirement.

Because of it’s cheap living life style and nowadays you could find everything available down there. The houses are dirt cheap and the people there are warm and very welcoming.

I have been visiting Thailand from the past couple of year’s .Yes I would indeed say I simply love the place. On my first trip to Pattaya I met a very pretty young lady working at one of the bars in south Pattaya. Her name was Noi and she was from up north of Thailand Chiangrai .

I would finish off plenty of beer bottles at the bar just to sit there and speak to her. This was how it all started. I would go there every night as if there was no other bars I could see in town. Noi and me had formed a very close relationship during the time I was in Thailand.

Even when I came back to Germany I would call her every now and then. She would tell me that her parents were being mistreated by the landlord and they did not have enough money to pay for the rent so I kept sending her money every month so that she could meet her ends.

I made up my mind that this time when I go down to Thailand I would settle down for good and marry Noi and give her a respectful life. A Life that she deserves. Pattaya bar girls are famous for trapping farang men (farang means foreign men ) into marriages.

But my Noi was completely different from all the horrible stories I had heard about pattaya girls. We had a beautiful traditional Thai style wedding in October 2004 . I bought a great house in Ekmongkol village. I was never this happier.

What does a man at my age want? A caring women to look after him and knows the meaning of “happy family”.

3 months after the wedding Noi bought a Thai man home saying that he is her cousin who has come to Pattaya looking for a job. We needed a driver so I gave him the job. Slowly, things started changing after her cousin brother started living with us.

Noi would be lesser at home she hardly spent time with me and she asked for money nearly everyday telling me that she was getting a house build for her parents in Chaingrai so that they have a place of their own.

One night I got up in the middle of the night I did not see Noi sleeping beside me I got a little frightened wondering what would she be doing at this time of the night. I got up to look for her incase she needed my help.

I checked all the rooms, in the bathroom, in the kitchen but she was nowhere to be found. Finally I decided to look for her downstairs in the living room. Again nowhere I went out in the lawn with my heart breathing hard in my mouth my mind meandered off with all kinds of weird feelings.

Suddenly, I came to a halt next to a door. I could here whimpering noises from within. I slowly opened the door knob and Alas! It was the most dreadful sight something that I cannot forget in this lifetime.

I saw my naked beloved wife riding on her so called cousin brother on their way to glory. And that’s how i learned the truth about them that he was her boyfriend and she had been with him ever since we knew each other.

So they were having a jolly time with all the cash I used to send her from Germany. First thing I did the next morning was filed for a divorce. I did not want to live with a “Cheater” anymore.

Pattaya is often the story of cruelty and injustice and shortsightedness. There are monsters, there is evil, there is betrayal. That's why people should read enough about Pattaya they will find the best, the worst and the depths of depravity.

Written by : Oliver from Germany

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>>>10 Good Things About Pattaya

There is always another side to a coin. I am a permanent resident of Pattaya and I have heard crude stories about this place being location for sex and drugs. I can actually pin point some very good reasons to be in this tropical island.

1. Pattaya has the finest of international cuisine such as Lebanese, Thai, Spanish, German, Italian, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian, Russian, French and many more. Pattaya also has a lot of delicious steak houses.

2. In Pattaya, it is such a pleasant feeling seeing smiling faces all around you. Thai’s are very nice and caring people. It surely is ‘land of smiles’, especially in Pattaya.

3. Pattaya has relaxing clean sea air at the beaches and even the nearby beaches are beautiful and just an hour away. A more relaxing atmosphere when compared with big city like Bangkok.

4. Pattaya is one of the best places for golf. The golf driving ranges here are of good quality and reasonable price. Believe me you would not find it anywhere else in the world.

5. Thai massages are famous worldwide. In Pattaya, we have good massage parlors and spas. Whether it is Thai herbal massage, oil massage, aromatherapy massage, facial massage, foot massage. You can get them all here.

6. There are many water activities to do here such as windsurfing, parasailing, jet skis and canoeing. Visitors from all over the world have enjoyed learning to dive or just simply diving for fun in the sea around Pattaya.

7. Did you know the maximum charity collected for unprivileged children in this country comes from the charity clubs in Pattaya?

8. After your retirement if you plan to settle down for good in Pattaya. You need not worry about your children education. Endless international schools have been opened here with good foreign teachers.

9. Pattaya is also known as entertainment city with disco’s and pubs just like in western countries. The cinema halls here are good and you can catch up with all the latest movies.

10. With the opening of new airport “Suwannabhumi”. Pattaya will boom, well it has started already. So contact the real estate agents quickly before the land prices reach sky high and you might just regret for missing a chance to be in this tropical island.

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>>> Is it safe to take a Thai bar girl back to your hotel in Pattaya?

Yes is the simple answer. Sex is what drives Pattaya’s tourist industry in the evenings – even if there are plenty of other things to do. Every night hundreds of punters take girls back to their hotel and the management of many hotels accept this as normal practice. So normal in fact that they usually keep the girls ID card until she leaves, which is your guarantee she isn’t going to rip you off.

However some hotels do not allow this, and the more expensive and prestigious the name the more likely they will have a strict policy. We’ll get to this a little later, but first lets talk about the girls.

Thai Girls

Most Thai bar girls are honest and easy going, so much so that it’s difficult to imagine them as sleazy. They in it for a job rather than because of low-class dishounest backgrounds. In fact many take the risk of going home with complete strangers where there is no guarantee or recourse should they refuse to pay in the morning. None have pimps, or get tough.

A typical situation goes like this; after several drinks with the lady, she will ask you if you want her to ‘go with her’. She’ll tell you ‘you pay bar fine for me, OK’. After this is taken care of, along with the bill, off you go. Sometimes guys like to take their girl to a disco or another bar first. Then you catch a baht bus or taxi to your hotel. She knows the score, and might have even spent a night in your hotel before, so she discretely hands in her ID and goes upstairs with you. The rest is up to your imagination.

Since the girl’s ID is kept on record, and she doesn’t want to jeopardise her job, she is unlikely to knick anything, but you’d be wise to keep money and ‘easily lifted’ items out of sight. Afterall, without proof she can deny everything. We’ve heard very few cases of bad girls.

Thai Ladyboys

One exception is ladyboys, who have a more masculine and ruthless approach to their work, and occassionally do lift things. If you take a ladyboy back (which does happen often), be more alert. Girls that are picked up freelancing (ie along the waterfront or in discos) also need extra attention, since they work in no particular bar and would be difficult to trace by the tourist police.

A couple of years ago, there was nasty case of a hotel colluding with the girls, who would drug men by getting them to suck their nipples – which had a strong sedative pasted on – and then rip them off. The hotel wasn’t much help in catching them, until a number of complaints added up and their ruse was discovered. This is a rare thing though.

Now, about the hotels themselves. While many in Pattaya accept that their clients wish to bring girls back, some discourage this by trying to charge extra for ‘unregistered guests’. If they are a classy establishment they will expect you to understand this, others save the embarrassment but discretely handing you a warning card at check-in, stating that an additional person charge of up to 1000 baht will be charged. This is nonsense.

We’re unable to name exactly which hotels are like this. To be safe, try to avoid hotels that have package tourists. Those right in the beer bar sois are safest. Some try to slap the charge on later when they discover you coming back with someone, if you argue loudly they usually back off to save the embarrassment. This is, afterall, Pattaya.

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Hiring a Motorbike around Pattaya

Hiring a Motorbike around Pattaya

Many people who come to Thailand, and particularly Pattaya, for a holiday see all the local people going around on motorbikes, many without helmets, the ladies balancing gracefully sideways on the back. They see whole families of four or even five all on the same bike.

Many people visiting Pattaya and seeing these sights think it would be a good idea to rent a motorbike for a day or week. They are jolly cheap to hire. You can get one for 150/180 baht a day or less, and discounts are given for weekly or longer rental.

This saves you having to get a baht taxi (10 baht) or motorbike taxi (30/60 baht depending upon distance), and gives you a certain independence even though taxis and motorbike taxis are everywhere.

One of the many motorbikes for rent in Pattaya

However, before you take this course you may want to bear a couple of things in mind. The traffic in Pattaya can be lethal, and indeed the number of fatalities not only in the city itself but especially on Sukhumvit (the 4 carriageway each way main road) are frightening.

Small accidents are commonplace and can, due to the very heavy traffic at times, not only spoil your holiday but put you in intensive care in one of the local hospitals.

The quality of medical care in Pattaya is very high, fortunately, but if you are not insured for medical expenses this could cost you an arm and a leg, literally. The top hospitals are of international standard, but so are their charges.

The local hospitals are very good and cheaper, but many westerners are not keen on staying in a place where most people don’t speak their language and the food is very local.

Motorbike insurance is often not part of the hiring package, or if it is it is not exactly fully comprehensive. If you do hire a bike (the same applies for cars too) please do spend some time looking at the insurance aspect of what you are getting for your money.

Also have a good look at your own personal holiday accident cover. You could discover that it does not include riding a motorbike or that these machines are classed as “dangerous sports”. Sounds stupid doesn’t it but many people have ignored these clauses at their peril and ended up having to foot the bills for their own stays in hospital.

Another important thing to remember is that most Thais who you are likely to ‘run into’ or indeed ‘run into you’ probably have not got a lot of money and are frequently uninsured themselves, whether they are driving a car, truck or motorbike. It’s no good proving an accident is their fault if you are not going to receive medical fees for your injuries, let alone compensation.

Taking all the above into consideration, if you are already proficient on a motorbike in your own country and want to have a go it can be quite fun as long as you don’t try to ride like the locals do. They have been riding these things almost since birth and they understand the way the local traffic works. You don’t!

Apart from driving on the left hand side of the road, which is OK if you come from Britain or one of the other few countries who do this, road etiquette in general is completely different from at ‘home’. You will be undertaken and overtaken, squeezed past in the tiniest gap, be forced to wait for pedestrians, cars, local bikes and trucks, taxis and motorbike taxis who know what they are doing.

Before renting a motorbike it’s quite a good idea to get a motorbike taxi around a couple of places at busy times so that you can get the hang of the traffic. This could save you an awful lot of aggravation later.

Oh, and do wear a helmet. Pattaya police often have spot checks on helmets for you and your passenger. Fine 200baht each (cash), a lot of hassle, your bike will be inspected and the least infringement will ensure further fines, particularly if you are a ‘rich foreigner’.

I’ve personally seen almost 20 motor bikers, both Thai and Foreign stopped for helmet infringements in less than an hour. Of course it’s much safer as well if you do happen to be run into.

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